What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
