; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
