It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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