I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
