I wanna passion pit in your ass
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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