I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
