he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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