Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
