How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it's like heaven, but drunker
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
