there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize