so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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