His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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