mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I need to stop coming to work sober
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
