Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
