$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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