We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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