this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize