You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize