So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
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