If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
