He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
