i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize