I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
