apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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