Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
