They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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