She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize