I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
