Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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