im six kinds of drunk right now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
