just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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