What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
