I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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