Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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