Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
