I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
