Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
