whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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