I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
