He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
