Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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