She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
