dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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