Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
