Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
