If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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