please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
