I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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