U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
They have beer where we have blood.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
