I wish i was in the wii world.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
