My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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