Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
