i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
