seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
