woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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