it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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