My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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