I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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