just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
