i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
