I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
