Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The adults are the big ones right?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize